Be Afraid – But Not Very Afraid

It’s Halloween weekend so now seems as good a time as any to discuss fear. 

First of all, the natural wariness we have as humans is actually a helpful built-in safety feature.  If a toddler’s fearless attitude and regular A&E trips prove nothing else, without fear there would be a lot more injury and death in the world.

We need a little bit of fear to make sure we correctly judge a situation for safety.  Also, in small amounts it can even be fun, like a rollercoaster ride or a scary movie.

It can be fun to gently frighten others…

…And be frightened by them.

Being scared can be a good thing; if I’d have stuck to my own comfort-zone I would never have watched the brilliant Haunting of Hill House recently (which I thoroughly recommend  …as long as you’re not alone at the time obviously, and maybe put ALL the lights on after).

One thing that I’m less keen on is when your Dad insists we watch a scary film and then 3 seconds into it he falls fast asleep and leaves me watching it effectively alone.

The problem with wariness is that it can sometimes tip over into a more unhealthy restrictive fear, as any parent of a 7 year-old who won’t go to the toilet alone in case “Metal Sonic” gets him will tell you.

It’s not just children, sometimes grown-ups are afraid of silly stuff that isn’t perhaps as frightening as they immediately think it is.  Failure for example, a lot of grown-ups are unduly afraid of this, myself included.

Failure isn’t a barrel of laughs admittedly but outside of a health and safety setting it’s never actually killed anyone.  The great thing about failure is that it’s only a temporary state, and often it’s actually one of the necessary steps on the road to success.

As Nelson Mandela famously said

Full disclosure, if you previously read my post entitled Wildly Cautious you will already know that I am in fact a massive wuss and scared of lots of things and a big fan of the phrase “just because I’m paranoid, doesn’t mean I’m not being followed.”

All the same, my Halloween message to you is: it’s good to let fear of death stop you doing something stupid, but don’t let fear of failure stop you doing something you love.


4 thoughts on “Be Afraid – But Not Very Afraid”

  1. Love it! I believe doing scary things not only boosts us into being more adventurous, but also teaches us how to handle our fear. When we experience a very real fear, we can actually learn a lot about ourselves. We can determine whether we freeze, or fight, or run away, or become speechless, or talk incessantly. When we know our symptoms of fear before a fearful event, we become better at handling that event (like handling an impending car crash, etc.).

    What a great post!!! Thanks for writing!

    1. Aw, thanks Chris, what a lovely comment! I’d never thought about it that way, but you are so right, every time you experience fear you learn how to handle it better next time, and that fits in nicely with the Nelson Mandela quote too, thank you.

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