“To communicate effectively, first you need to listen.” Yeahhhh… I mean, sure listening is important, but only if one of you is already speaking. It seems to me that maybe listening should logically be the second thing; first SOMEONE needs to speak.
Of course I’m mostly being deliberately obtuse, I know the point being made, is you need to know how the other person feels, to know how best to communicate with them. True, but my point still stands; someone has to start that off.
Forever Hold It
I know a couple who moan ABOUT each other constantly but never actually say a word TO the other.
Whilst they are both silent, they are silent in very different ways.
If you are mad at someone for something, you have to TELL THEM. If you don’t tell them, then you have to accept that they might not know what you’re mad at them for.
I blame old films and television; they are full of role models for high-maintenance women, and stoic, taciturn men.
There is no good time to expect someone else to be psychic. If we have learned nothing else from TV psychics, psychic powers can’t be utilised at will (also, that an 18-month waiting list to get on a show will improve them no end…)
But How Do I Know If I’ve Already Told Them?
- Simply thinking about what makes you mad every day is not the same as having told them.
- Mentioning in passing that you don’t like the thing that annoys you, without specifying that they do it, isn’t telling them.
- Telling everyone else you know except them, isn’t telling them.
Life can be busy and frantic, and memories are not always what they should be. If you are not sure whether you have told someone why you’re mad at them, give them the benefit of the doubt, tell them again.
P.s. If they’re under 18. You probably did tell them already. Several times…
P.p.s. If you’re thinking of telling someone that they drive you crazy in some way today, maybe also think about communicating all the reasons that you love them too – a spoonful of sugar and all that.