I spend quite a lot of time joking that you need to behave like a normal human. I say joking, I do of course mean screaming. The reason I get so upset by your unruly behaviour is because you have inherited it almost exclusively from me.
Don’t get me wrong, your Dad is also a weirdo, but ultimately he’s a much more normal weirdo than me. However, I’m kind of lying because, and here’s the thing, EVERYONE is a total weirdo.
Ultimately, there is no such thing as a normal human. Social convention dictates that in public we should behave a certain way, and some of us (specifically us) are slower to learn or take notice of those social edicts than others.
But in truth, we are all different and all break social rules sometimes. Those who break them less often and less obviously might be considered more “normal” but they’re not, they’re just better at hiding the weird.
In my life I have experienced a certain amount of difficulty through not immediately conforming to behaviour that is expected of me, and because of that I try to get you to moderate your behaviour so you can avoid that same difficulty. For example, I would not recommend going to school dressed as the Australian flag, just because you already made the outfit and you felt like it.
That doesn’t mean I think you should always conform to social convention – see my Be Yourself post for more thoughts on that. What I’m trying to say in this post is, don’t feel weird because you’re different, everyone is unique, but don’t expect a round of applause when you break with social convention.
Every single person out there is a bit odd. Different, unique, special, crazy, whatever you want to call it, we are all that, because there is no such thing as a “normal human”. It’s a big myth, more so than Bigfoot, because there haven’t even ever been any reported sightings of one.
At this point someone will usually say or think “I see people who seem normal all the time?” To those people I say, search your gut-feelings, they aren’t normal are they? Somewhere deep-down we all know that the people that seem most normal are the least normal of all.
Anyone can pretend to be a normal human, that’s why I ask you to try to do it so often. Never think you know everything about someone because you know something about them. People do actually purposefully try to present a different façade to how they feel inside.
Grandad for example, in my lifetime at least 3 people have told me what an all-round regular guy he is!?! I can only assume they’ve not yet spent the requisite length of time with him for him to lose it and call them the C-word for little or no reason. Certainly I would venture that he’s never dangled THEM over a castle wall to cure their fear of heights.
A colleague of mine, who used to be a colleague of his, once told me that I’d probably got a very one-sided view of him because my parents were divorced. She’d spent a couple of years working in the same building as him, whereas I’d only been his actual daughter for 44 years, so of course she had every right to think she knew him better.
Never berate yourself for being or feeling different, but that still doesn’t mean that you should clean your teeth whilst doing a headstand. A great many social conventions exist for a reason, in this case to stop toothpaste dripping into your eyes.
Also, a super-market trip is far quicker and less eventful if you don’t launch into your full Nickelback repertoire whilst using the trolley as a scooter.