Your Dad is a natural parent. When you were born, he showed me how to hold you, clean you and change your nappies. If I remember correctly his exact words were “YOU’RE going to have to do this one day”. In brief, having parented me for 15 years, he already had it down to a fine art when you came along.
It’s not all one-sided, in return I protect Daddy from his two main fears; running out of chocolate and, of course, his only natural enemy, the spider.
If you’ve ever wondered why Daddy vacuums the house so much, and why it’s Mummy that insulates the loft, it’s just part of the ongoing Daddy vs Arachnids war. Daddy can hoover up the small ones, but as you know Mummy has to catch the big ones with the more traditional glass and a bit of card.
Daddy Versus Arachnids
Mummy can’t kill spiders because they eat flies, and she hates flies. Also, as the mediator between Daddy and the Arachnid species, I don’t really want to start any vendettas with the bigger ones. At least not until I’ve finished the loft – where Daddy won’t set foot for love nor money until I’ve spider-proofed it completely.
Daddy isn’t afraid of much else. Although that’s not always a good thing either, for example when he chases down people, with what are clearly gang-tattoos, to give them a good telling off for dropping litter.
Thing One – Daddy may well be where you get your urge to police people from. Although, that could also be Grandma Tiny-Face, as she is equally keen on rugby-tackling litter-louts twice her size. Though, to be fair, EVERYONE is at least twice Grandma’s size.
Daddy has always been a very kind person, he especially loves looking after old people, but he’ll help anyone who crosses his path.
If you see him out and about he’ll invariably be helping an old dear across the road (not always me), picking up their spilled groceries, or waiting with them for an ambulance whilst other people (like Mummy) step over their cold motionless body and hurry about their day.
As you already know Daddy is the “fun” parent and Mummy is the screechy-killjoy one. He’s the one who swings you up in the air (usually straight towards fan-blades or a mirror) and Mummy’s the one who screams.
There is no right way to be a parent in the same way as there is no right way to be a human (although in both cases there are plenty of wrong ways) but if there was a right way to be a fantastic Dad, your Dad would be as close as it’s possible to get.
If you are wondering why I haven’t mentioned Grandad El Paso (my Dad) on Father’s Day, it’s because I took him out for lunch and he was perfectly lovely the whole time.
It was great for our Father-Daughter relationship but the downside was no new material for the blog…