Grandma turns 70 today, but she’s not your typical 70-year-old, she is always full of energy and never still. I should say, Grandma Tiny-Face is not her real name, it’s Christine*. I should also explain, for anyone else reading this, that she doesn’t only have a tiny-face, she is in fact, tiny all over. Like a little skipping happy-pixie.
Some people, cruel people, would say that she is the clear source of the ADHD that runs so strongly through our family, but I would remind them that Grandad is also a massive fidget, so really, that trophy is yet to be awarded – Although her ability to drift off mid-conversation does leave her firmly in the running.
We asked Grandma what she wanted for her “big” birthday, and after some spiel about good health and world peace, and us explaining that they were both out of our price-range, she settled on an almond tree. She loves a practical gift does Grandma – she’d make a terrible Kardashian.
Rescue Dog That Wasn’t
Grandma rescued a little dog recently “Pike” from the mountains of Spain. I’m not sure how much rescuing was involved, as sun-drenched mountains seem like somewhere a dog would love to be. Don’t they?
We weren’t overjoyed to meet “Pike” initially, what with us all being ALLERGIC to dogs, and Daddy having that slight phobia since he was a postman, and all the bitings and facial-scarring. Still, we can see how much joy Pike brings to her by the big smile plastered all across her tiny pixie-face.
Grandma loves nothing more than skipping off on a five-mile hike with her little pal, but she likes to pretend that it’s a chore. She says “phew, it’s hard work because he runs so fast!” Then we have to point out that she’s dragging him behind her again.
We live near Grandma now and the lovely thing about that is that you both get to see more of her. I used to love having my Grandma (her Mum) in my life and I love that you have her. I also like that she sometimes goes to your school stuff instead of me and Daddy. It’s so great when she goes INSTEAD of me. What’s not so great is when she goes WITH ME.
Quick example – School calls a meeting for a residential trip, to tell us what to pack etc. The Headmistress addresses the roomful of parents and Grandma starts replying to her like they are the only two people in the room.
High Shame Threshold
Grandma is where we get our really high shame threshold from. Like the rest of us, I don’t think she can afford to lower it, considering how impulsive the ADHD makes her.
For my 16th birthday she took me to the cinema to see A Cry In The Dark, and halfway through she stood up and yelled “my God they’ve found the matinee jacket!” I tried to tell her that A Cry in the Dark was a title, not an instruction, but it was too late.
We have to forgive Grandma for these things, partly because we’re all like that, but also because of all the wonderful things she does. She brought Auntie Kate and I up to be strong, independent, resourceful women.
Even if sometimes she achieved this by lying to us:-
Leading By Example
Other times she led by example. I especially love Grandma’s many, many, techniques for opening jars and bottles. Throughout my childhood there wasn’t a door-jam in the house that hadn’t been horribly maimed in the process of opening pop bottles.
I have never heard Grandma say anything like “I’ll have to wait for a man to come in and open that”. I have however seen her take a crowbar to a jar of pickled onions, more than once.
Happy 70th Birthday Grandma Tiny-Face. We hope you get the good health and the world peace that you wanted, and that, at the very least, the stick-in-a-pot we bought you turns into a lovely tree.
* Her name’s not Christine either, but then you know that already.